Westhaven Yacht Club, Auckland, New Zealand
Watermark December #213
December Bill McCook, Brian Goodwin, Brian Peachey
January Marian Jones, Colin Gibson, Pat McCook
February Jennie Rennie, Lis McCook
Rob’s Ramblings – aka Commodore’s Report
It was good to see most of you at the Covid compliant Christmas function and catch up after not seeing each other for a while. Thanks again to Bill and Liz for hosting us. For the doubting Thomas’s from our quiz, I attach a https://www.britannica.com/place/British-Isles reference to what the United Kingdom is which is the same on other sites.
Many of us are looking forward to the coming months on the water with the ability to go ashore in the islands of the Gulf and elsewhere and getting out of our bubbles and meet three dimensional people again.
As discussed at the Christmas function we will be putting a list of contact details with the intention of telling others when you are out on the water so that we can have the opportunity to joining you.
Manutaki hopes to be around the local area until early to mid-January before taking off to Barrier from Bon Accord.
We will confirm or modify the events on our sailing calendar as appropriate to the circumstances at the time, noting that most of our fleet are reasonably flexible being in that period between not having to go to work and middle age. This enables us to get out mid-week when the bays are less crowded.
Just keep those suggestion for social and other activities coming in. We look forward to the opportunities to do some of them in the coming year.
A merry and safe Christmas to you all and a happy New Year. We look forward to meeting again in the new year on the land and water.
Off Water events
Nil over Xmas
On Water Events
Jan 23rd BBQ and old fox Oneroa/Picnic beach
Feb 4th BBQ Rotoroa Island or dine in vineyard, Man of War bay
New Auckland Regional Pest Management Plan – changes to rules around hull cleaning and marine pests
Did you know that up to 90% of marine pest spread comes from pests hitching a ride on vessels?
Prevention is better than cure – once marine pests are established, they’re very difficult to control – so the most important thing we can all do is avoid further spread. We really value the work you and other marina operators already do to stop marine pests spreading.
Auckland Council’s new Regional Pest Management Plan came into effect earlier this year, and contains new rules relating to marine pests, to protect our marine environment for future generations. Key changes include:
Information on the new Regional Pest Management Plan rules is available on our website, alongside information on existing obligations under the Auckland Unitary Plan.
Information on the new marine pests is also available on our website Pest Search.
In the coming months, we’ll be focusing on raising awareness of these new requirements, and we’re asking for your help in reaching out to the boating community
We also have printed informative brochures available to supply to support – please get in touch to organise that should you wish
We’d like to reach out to boat owners directly, and therefore we ask you to pass on this information to your members or clients. We’re happy to work with you to tailor communications to your clients.
If you have any other questions about the new rules or how we can best work together to protect the marine environment, please get in touch with us via email@example.com – we’re happy to chat!
This month’s bad joke
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much
And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'
I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear.
'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big unnamed department store.
I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all.
She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Let’s get a pair for each outfit.'
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... She was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.
I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis racket when she doesn’t even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine, honey.'
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all Dear, let's go to the cashier.'
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled, 'WHAT?'
I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?'
Apparently, I will be out of hospital in a week or two
This old traditional greeting for hailing other vessels was originally a Viking battle cry.
Between the Devil and the Deep
In wooden ships, the "devil" was the longest seam of the ship. It ran from the bow to the stern. When at sea and the "devil" had to be caulked, the sailor sat in a bo'sun's chair to do so. He was suspended between the "devil" and the sea -- the "deep" -- a very precarious position, especially when the ship was underway _____________________________________________________________
Bad joke of the month
A young cocky (Red Neck) from Morrinsville in New Zealand goes off to Otago university, but halfway through the first term he has squandered all of his money. So, he calls home.
"Dad," he says, "you won't believe what modern education is developing...they actually have a program here in Dunedin that will teach our dog Blackie how to talk."
"That's amazing!" his Dad says. "How do I get Blackie in that program?"
"Just send him down here with $2,000," the cocky says, "I'll get him in the course." So his father sends the dog and $2,000.
About two-thirds through the year the money again runs out. The boy calls home.
"So how's Blackie doing, son?" his father wants to know.
"Awesome! Dad, he's talking up a storm..
But you just won't believe this. They've had such good results with talking, they've begun to teach the animals how to read."
'Read?' exclaims his father. 'No kidding! How do we get Blackie in that program?''
"Just send $4,500. I'll get him in the class."
The money promptly arrives. But our hero has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out the dog can neither talk nor read.
So he shoots the dog.
When he arrives home at the end of the year, his father is all excited.
'Where's Blackie? I just can't wait to talk with him, and see him read something!'
"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Blackie was in the living room, kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal."
"Then he suddenly turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still bonking that barmaid at the pub?''
The father groans and whispers, 'I hope you shot him before he talks to your Mother!'
'I sure did, Dad!'
'That's my boy!'
The kid went on to be a successful lawyer.
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Westhaven Yacht Club